Of Ex-Loves and Why-Loves – I

Of Ex-loves:

(X 1) Never proposed ? 🙁

(X 2) Proposed and rejected ? 😳

(X 3) Proposed, accepted and broken ? 😥

(X 4) Proposed, accepted, unbroken but couldn’t marry ? 😡

Of Why-loves:

(Y 1) Proposed and accepted but regretting both ? 😕

(Y 2) Proposed, accepted, regretting both but couldn’t prevent marriage ? 👿

(Y 3) Proposed, accepted, regretting both, married and extra-marital ? 😈

(Probably, I should include another here)

 Of Zed-loves:

(Z 1) Scared of X and Y stories and never attempted any of the above ? 😆

If I could tap my memories from school days for such stories, my brain cells would get exhausted. So would any of yours! But the truth is, it’s all happening to several in the world even as you read this and shall continue to happen for centuries to come.

To dig the pasts with the beginning of a new day is wicked, I understand. However, the culprit is the name Roy. He triggered my stupid little brain to bring up this theme to the surface today 🙄


Who is Roy?

He is nearing 70. A retired naval officer. Wife is a retired teacher. His daughter – MS in computer engineering, married and settled in Chicago, 5-year-old granddaughter. His only son – very intelligent, even got a chance in NASA , an aeronautical engineer, settled in Boston, recently married, wife Malayali, love marriage. Had been to US twice with his wife, very beautiful place.

I was thankful that he paused. So I smiled. I was desperate to ask him, “Am I going to recruit you? Why recite your bio-data to me?” But I could only smile again. Retired officers love Indian railways. And if your seat number falls next to them, you cannot act sleeping. They have just few hours left. Their lifetime achievement report is loaded on their tongue tip. And they dare not to let you sleep. After the pause, he asked, “what’s your name?”

I answered.

His eyes sharpened, his gaze fixed on me. Something was happening inside his face. It seemed his life-time achievement story is not worth anymore. He shifted his gaze outside the window. I could see that his mind was traveling somewhere distant after a long time. Had I known that my name will have the silencing effect on him, I would have tried it earlier.

Now he felt ok. Before I could close my eyes quickly, I was caught again. This time the story he started with was different. Not something he felt proud about. It seemed about something that he had missed in life……something lying at the corner of his heart sadly.

It was his youth love story. His liquid eyes and tone spoke how much he had gone into the  past in a few minutes. During his college days, he was in love with a girl of my name. That’s why my name stuck him hard. He had liked her. I felt he still likes her. They had spent happy days together. Like many Indian love stories, the caste villain ended their happy days. Life got him back to reality after a few years of void.  Busy training in the navy. Mom found a girl for him. Not a bad choice. Married life went fine. Happy times with wife and children. And years have rolled-on since then.

“I have everything today. But every time I hear this name, something upsets me from within. It is hard to say what exactly it is”.

Uff! I didn’t feel the need to close my eyes anymore.


Ex-loves do have a strong space in our memories. Why-loves have it tougher!

Relationships – were our choices. And are our choices. They are different from other choices. We first fall –  we make a choice to fall. Later try hard to pick ourselves. The magic and joy in falling is such!

Mr. Roy made this post long already. Of ex-loves and why-loves will soon have another part. Remember to bookmark this page to come back. Meanwhile, whatever it is that you wish to say, please do it.

Photo Courtesy – meems.buzznet.com

12 Replies to “Of Ex-Loves and Why-Loves – I”

  1. Loved the word play on ex and why 🙂 reminded me of Nabeel Sir 😀
    this past love business is inevitable, but the memories makes us what we grow up to be. It’s that weird connection that pain has with maturity…I’m too young to pinpoint the exact correlation but I know by now you figured what i mean.

    1. No, you are not young. Your words prove so. ‘The memories make us what we grow up’. So true, not only for the past love business but also to shape us in just anything in life. He has given me a lot of ‘title’ inspirations 😆 Thanks Riya!

  2. Good job on this Nandhu!Well, Mr. Roy should have selective amnesia like i do probably he wont think about “his Nandhini” with pain and tearfilled eyes 🙂

    1. 😆 In fact that is the theme I have framed for the part II. Not selective amnesia 😉 To let go not because of life’s situation but truly let it go. Thank you!

  3. Sincerely, you should start writing novels, you have the talent!
    I don’t read anything further than few lines if it does not interest me. Yours, I read the whole damn thing and feel for more .. waiting for the next part

    1. One among my several dreams! If I happen to publish one, your name will be definitely there in the acknowledgment, no kidding 🙂 Thanks a lot Manick, do keep visiting often. The next part, hopefully I write it soon.

  4. It is very true.Reminding us about x’s and y’s.Every day my first job is opening ur blog and checking is there any new post?write more…….keep it up……..

  5. Thanks Parimala. You can subcribe your email ID instead. Whenever there is a new post, you will get a mail to your inbox. Some times I keep the old posts on the top, so you might miss the new ones.

  6. Nandhini I liked this story very much.Because I think in Every ones life there is always first love.No words in the dictionary could ever express .U need to write a novel soon.U r a very talented ,thoughtful human full of energy and vibrant thoughts.God bless u.

    1. Yes, rewinding the times with an ex-love happens no matter where we move on in life. And thanks for the encouragement, my first work is in progress. Thanks for your time here. Please come here often.

  7. Beautifully written nandhu. We have grown up together experiencing all these .reminiscing the old memories.
    True as all say u shd certainly do a novel da.love reading ur blogs. This one is my fav 😘😍

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