Definitely we love our fathers! Their efforts, sacrifices, humiliations – all that it took for them to nurture us – are far above the 23 chromosomes they’ve sponsored. Yet, undeniable is another side to this relationship! Well, your father doesn’t have to be a drunkard who beats his wife and children and roams around the roads aimlessly for you to read on. If at all the title resonates with you from some corner of your life, go ahead. Otherwise feel lucky and read something better.
We grew up, moved places, fixed up a career, got into family life – our children grew up, moved places, fixed up a career …….. Well, have we ever realized that there were and there are certain things we did not let go while we went through these phases. Will you believe if I say one among the many is our fathers? Fathers???!!! Yes, if you’ve ever observed people, holding tight in their hearts, grievances against their fathers you will understand what’s been addressed here.
It’s not about how your father really is. It’s all about what you perceived about your father during those growing up years when you lived with your family. Think over these few emotional instances you might have gone through, influenced by your father.
- The male dominance over your mother.
- The useless ego which doesn’t give up for anything.
- The “I know what I am talking about” attitude.
- The “When I was your age” dialogues.
- The irresponsibility with family welfare, sometimes.
- The suppression of her mental anguish when he shouts for a 2 minute-late dinner.
- The “It’s my fate to live with this man” feelings.
- The “Only for my children” sacrifices.
- The “She speaks crap always” status given by him.
- The “Don’t marry a man like this/Don’t be like your father” injections your mom gave you.
- The “One day I’ll show him who I am” grudges.
- The “Why can’t he follow his advices first?” greivances.
- The “He doesn’t let me be myself” confinements.
- The “He will never change” conclusions.
- The “My poor mom” sympathies.
Well, having already crossed over all these, does this matter to you now? Do you think they are no more important to your life now? Do you feel you’ve forgotten all of it? Do you really know if you’ve forgiven your father?
Here comes this post to remind you this:
The small little things you felt about your dad might have piled up in years, found a comfortable place in your sub-concious and do you know what it does….??
- Influences you when you are about to attract your life partner (especially if you are a daughter).
- Influences your relationship with your spouse in your married life.
- Influences your parenting attitude towards your children.
- Re-grinds the past opinions and incidents whenever a similar situation pops up which negatively influences your father’s life even if he is miles away from you now.
- Sadly, loads you with guilt when your father is becoming weak and is nearing his last days.
If not for him, at least for you, your spouse and your children – forgive your father! Just get convinced that you need to forgive, the universe will understand and hep you in forgiving. From your heart, let all the past go away. Re-do the relation, it’s never too late. And you will see that long-yearned peace coming back in to your life.
And if you are going to become a father or already a father, keep this post in mind. Don’t create the need for your children to forgive you ever!
A Father and a Daughter – www.zeldalily.com
A Father and a Son – beagooddaddy.com
0 Replies to “Let’s Forgive our Dads!”
well written convincing facts–though person sometime disagree with parents ,but respect for them should be intact that restores the relationship again.
True, like how charity begins at home, loving amongst differences too starts at home. Thanks Arpana, for your time.