We stand at the end of the A to Z series on marital relationships. What stands out as the essence of all love relationships is the zest for camaraderie – the innate need of a companionship! We have 11 guests (celebrities, in my terms) today, who are at various stages of relationships in their lives who obliged to share a few lines from their real-life experiences.
The depth of our habituation to repeat a certain way of our thought processing, words and behaviour speak for how we treat each other’s strengths and weaknesses. What we constantly need is a break – a break from the cycles and routines that keep ruling us. Re-inventing ourselves – our emotions and projections – is one of the keys to bring peace to marital homes. This, precisely, is where I see marriages soar or sour! And remember, sometimes, we have to come to terms that somethings are never going to change, and it is futile to be dissatisfied over what is not in our hands.
Death of your spouse rips down a substantial part of this bundle. And what remains is the naked you. What held and covered your propensities is no longer there. When you had to reach out for comfort and safety, when you wanted to cling to an anchor – to either lean on or vent out, or when you simply needed an opinion, there was another human you wouldn’t be afraid of disclosing your vulnerability. Marriage builds that space for us, to let loose what we otherwise wouldn’t. And, when that promised space turns non-existential one day, a portion in you turns barren. The void it forms in your being can only get heavier with days until with time, the leftovers of your bundle come to terms to life’s actuality.
“I hope I go before you.” My parents are 60+ and they are beginning to think about their ends. Though it might not be too close, yet it isn’t too far either. My dad believes (and silently wishes) for my mom to take the turn first. My mom prays and hopes the same; I know…