T for (The) Trajectory of Marital Relationships – Understanding why you both are made for each other

old couple

“Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather, it’s a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. If we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum”, what we currently refer to as destiny.”

I have no count of how many times I must have listened to these lines from the movie ‘Serendipity’.

And I believe in it!

Most often in life, we find it hard to make meaning out of why some things happen the way they do. Well, for a few decades. When you look back after twenty years at where you are now, you will get a better understanding of the events and people, than looking at your life now. Because you have all of the dots to connect rather than only those of one row of the whole picture.

Getting back to our relationship series, you both are past 60 now. The partner you lived (and are living) with wasn’t some random person life threw at you. May be you loved each other head over heels or hit each other with stones and words. But you managed to survive each other. At 25, if you would have asked yourself why you fell in love with your wife, your reply would have sounded like, ‘something in her attracted me’ or ‘love at first sight’. At 65, if you ask yourself why you fell in love with your wife, perhaps your only answer would be, “We were meant to be“.

Your spouse is one of your destiny’s prods to help you evolve. Your weaknesses have been her strengths and your strengths have been her weaknesses. You both have been designed to complete each other. At 60 or 65, if you look back at the trajectory of your marital relationship, you will find a sync with something more meaningful than it was ever before. Finance, health, kids, sexual instincts, the extended families, each others’ successes and failures, passions, goal and desires – deeper, within your transpersonal realms, there have been several stories for each of you which could not have been completed without your partner. Whether she gave you a hand up or nagged you incessantly, you got the push which was needed. Irrespective of how giving or not giving he was in your marriage, you learnt to offer, to give, to do and to love. Subconsciously, you both have been directing, if not dictating each other’s pursuits.

Even if you did not manage to make peace with each other all along, at this juncture, there begins a warm, subtle emotion towards your spouse. Name it love or name it affection or merely a good feeling of the year’s of familiarity with each other, you realize that there is certainly a soft space for your partner in your heart. Or, more so because you begin to understand that you both are not going to be together forever. With ageing, love takes an upper hand as the fear of departure seeps in your relationship.

Image Courtesy – Imgur

Other posts in the A to Z series:

The Mr. & The Mrs. – The Evolution

A for Attraction – Why we fall in for Who we fall in?

B for Butterflies – The Stage is all Set!

C for Commitment – Stepping Across the First Line of Control

D for Dating – The Fairy Tale Begins…

E for Expose – Here enters the Family

F for Farewell – Goodbye Brahmacharyam!

G for Grihastha – The Mr. & the Mrs.

H for Honeymoon – The Happily Ever After

I for I Openings – Welcome to Reality

J for Joust – The First Fight

K for Kids – No longer the Husband & the Wife

L for Lost – The Lost Art of Making Love

M for Midlife Reflections – Is he/she the right partner for you?

N for Nesting – Coming to terms…..at 40

O for Old, yet not too Old – The Want of a Companionship

P for Parting – The Woes of an Empty Nest

Q for Qualm – The Disquietude at 50!

R for Role Reversal – Say Whatever, it’s the Woman, forever!

S for Second Falling in Love – Sixty is Indeed Sexy!

Leave a Reply