As I progressed through the Mr. & Mrs. series, initially it felt boring to write past the 35 years mark. Did I find people older to me, unattractive? Or did I look at ageing less youthful? May be, both. But, as I begin to observe and contemplate on life of older couples, I see a pattern. Couples over 60 years of age, perhaps for married for about 30-35 years now seem more cheerful than how they were in their 40s and 50s. The U-curve of life, as popularly, called could be right.
According to this theory, past 35, our happiness quotient keeps sliding down until 50 or 55 and, then begins to climb up steadily past 60. Yeah, you’ve worked hard and harder all these years. You did your best or may be whatever you could, to earn, feed and take care of the family. Your children are most probably married, settled down in a career now and many of you might have a few grandchildren now.
And now, you have all the time for your spouse! May be your hair is grey, your legs ache or your eye sight is half dead – you have accepted your ageing health and your changed looks. Your wife’s hips are not as curvy as it used to be thirty years before. Your husband’s head is only half covered with hair now. Yet, you feel alright to live with such facts that years have brought in. Even more, you discover a new-found beauty in whatever the way your better half appears now. Many call it as the ‘second falling in love’ stage, well with the same person 😉
Sixty is indeed sexy!
Blessed are those at 60 who are financially independent. It can take a toll on your emotional health to be financially dependent after your retirement. Yet, while the two of you might have scoffed at each other on financial fronts in the past, now you begin to behave like a team. You feel the responsibilities together than getting ready to blame the other. Not only money woes, you have faced a lot. Hope and despair. Love and hate. Struggles and victory. Guilt, regret, jealousy, vengeance, pride, joy – name any emotion, it must all have touched you at some point in life. It all must have made you both wiser together as a couple. Inspite of the troubles you face elsewhere in life, the goodness of feeling and acting together can signal the budding of a new love.
With ageing and health issues, you begin to care about each other more than you have ever done before. When she stretches a little late in night to sew the sweaters for your grandchildren, you scorn at her to get to bed. Yes, you begin to get worried about her as much as she does about you. When you accidentally slip in the bathroom, she comes running, almost having skipped a heart beat, utterly shocked and worried. At 60, you reach the deepest stage of love, surpassing the depth in all the romance you’ve experienced in your 20’s.
To people like me, in the 30s, it may feel that old couples lose their vigour in marriage with ageing. The truth is, love doesn’t fade with age. As a matter of fact, it continues to grow deeper with years. The next time we see an old couple, be our parents, neighbour or someone on the road, let us watch them to realize the warmth in old-age love. May their bond increase the faith in our relationships and let their life shine as examples for our future; for our old age which, after all, isn’t as far as it seems to be.
Header Image Courtesy – Live your Retirement
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