One thing I’ve observed in elderly couples is that, irrespective of which of the partners have had the upper hand all along, there comes a stage in their relationship when the wife begins to play the pivotal role in matters of home, family, children, finance and everything. It makes me assume that with ageing, men tend to fall back on women for emotional support in opposing to women who need it more during the formative years of the relationship. May be with years women get stronger to accommodate everyone else’s problems, mood swings, tempers and to face illness, loss and much of the unexpected life situations than men.
Nearing 60, you two have definitely come quite a long way with each other. As the man of the family, you’ve been loaded with responsibilities of feeding the family’s needs and wants all these years while your better half has been tirelessly nurturing all of you. In most homes, the nurturing part always tend to deserve the highest regard and appreciation. Why not, yes, every mother is worshiped, especially at this phase, when the children begin to leave home to live on their own.
However, when it comes to the man, not many are made to feel respectful of where they are in their career and income status. There’s always an expectation from you to could have fared better. Irrespective of how realistic or unrealistic the expectation is, it can make your bones tired of having to search for respect and acceptance for whatever you could manage to become to, let alone acknowledge your goals. And that one person you wish to fall back for hope is your spouse. Sadly, if she isn’t willing to hold you now, you continue to suffer silently. The years when she wanted you to make her feel attractive is bygone. Now it’s, your turn. You want her to make you feel confident with life, in order to run the rest of the race in peace. Yes, the roles reverse in the late 50s and it’s always the women who stay forever in the hearts of the family.
Unofficially, your old age is beginning. You realize you cannot certainly eat and sleep the way you did a few years before. You haven’t still travelled far from the empty nest syndrome and if you haven’t got over it, it can reflect in your health. You are still lucky if you haven’t taken rounds to the family doctor for diabetes or knee pain. At this stage, you both slowly begin to foresee your future. With your children getting busy with their new lives, you begin to realize that it is going to be only you two for the rest of the years to come. After a couple of decades of focusing your time and attention to others, you finally begin to withdraw it inward to each other. And perhaps, there’s more to your relationship henceforth than what you thought!
Image Courtesy – Dreamstime
Other posts in the A to Z series:
The Mr. & The Mrs. – The Evolution
A for Attraction – Why we fall in for Who we fall in?
B for Butterflies – The Stage is all Set!
C for Commitment – Stepping Across the First Line of Control
D for Dating – The Fairy Tale Begins…
E for Expose – Here enters the Family
F for Farewell – Goodbye Brahmacharyam!
G for Grihastha – The Mr. & the Mrs.
H for Honeymoon – The Happily Ever After
I for I Openings – Welcome to Reality
K for Kids – No longer the Husband & the Wife
L for Lost – The Lost Art of Making Love
M for Midlife Reflections – Is he/she the right partner for you?
N for Nesting – Coming to terms…..at 40
O for Old, yet not too Old – The Want of a Companionship