W, X, Y and Z are not easy alphabets to find appropriate words for the A to Z challenge and being the last four alphabets, it’s all the more not easy. Until a few minutes ago, I had nothing in my mind for this post. W for…..?, W for……?, W for…..? was what that had gone through my mind since morning.
How did I come up with this post then?
It was bedtime for my little baby girl. I fed her to make her sleep and in minutes, she slept peacefully. I slowly tried to move away from her as I had only two more hours to complete today’s post and first of all, it was high time to re-dig my brain for W for…..?, W for……?, W for…..? But I couldn’t move. Her fingers were holding my dress tightly. I slowly opened up her fingers from my dress and placed her hand gently down and lo! now her tiny little fingers were tightly holding my little finger. And that’s where and when my today’s search ended and this post began!
Do you know how it feels when your baby wouldn’t let you go away? or she shows a longing to come to you?
I don’t know if there has ever been a word for this feeling in dictionary. It’s beautiful beyond the power of vocabulary.
I cherish it everyday now as my little girl simply cannot be away from me. I am cooking in the morning hours. She begins with cooing which slowly turns to soft whimpers and then all of a sudden to a loud cry which will intensify to a high-pitch scream. The father tries his luck from toys to acting a clown but she wouldn’t even open her eyes to witness his farce until I take her on my hips when her cry graph falls off to the X-axis from its highest peak in less than a fraction of a second. I turn to her and ask, ” What made you cry like that?” She looks up at my face with a mischievous smile to let me know, “Just for this Amma; to take this place on your hips.” And that moment everything of your being melts!
Being loved, being wanted is the most prestigious privilege of motherhood, especially in the first two years. All that babies feel secured about is being with the mother. She is hungry, she is sleepy, she is bored of her toys, she is afraid of the cooker whistle – Amma is what she wants! By the time babies reach six months, their vision is sharp enough to recognize the mother’s face. And they simply wouldn’t stay for long with anyone else, be it the father or the grandmother. It isn’t good with respect to the other duties that the mother has to do; however it is ‘the’ feeling of triumph and victory of having won the love of the one whom you’ve loved since the time when she was just a bundle of cells in your womb.
The only situation when this feeling of ‘wanting’ from the babies can make a mother sad is when a working mother has to say ‘bye bye’ to her little one at the door step. For this one reason, I bow my head down to all those mothers who are destined to leave their babies away for work. Even if it is for a few seconds, that feeling of heaviness is incomparable.
This post is a part of a series of blog posts I am writing for the A to Z Blogging Challenge on the theme, Motherhood Emotions. Here’s a list of the other posts in this series: