G for Guilt – 5 killer guilts of motherhood

guilty mom

In spite of all that motherhood does to us and no matter what we do for the kids, the feeling of guilt of not doing something right or enough is inevitable to mothers. Over a chat about the series of posts on motherhood which I am doing everyday, one of my fellow mothers said, “One big suggestion, make it G for Guilt.” And I replied, “Yes, it’s already on my list.” The guilt of motherhood seems universal! It might not be identifiable outwardly. A mom might run through the day as if she has been perfect all day, however she would carry a secret guilt while watching those little faces sleep peacefully. During bedtime every night, I would ask my son, how much he had liked me that day. He would tell me honestly the good and the not-so-good things I did in the day and I would promise him that I would be all good the following day. After he dozes off, I would look at his serene sleeping face, relive the guilty moments of the day and promise myself to be a better mom the next day.

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F for Frustration – That life isn't the same after kids

Frustrated moms

Being a millennial mom, I can’t see myself as a woman who washed clothes, raised kids, fed the family and reached old age. On one side, there are these little ones who are dependent on me for a BIG everything and the other side there’s this woman in me who is trying hard to catch up with her twenty’s identity or at least a little of herself. I am not afraid of balancing both but I am afraid I can do it without letting frustration in, well at least once in a while when the threshold alarm beeps and I need to snooze it until for the next alarm.

Frustration is not just one of the emotions of motherhood; it’s like an attestation from a government gazetted officer that you went through motherhood.

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E for Embarrassment- My 5 most embarrassing moments as a mother

Embarrassed mother

Do you know how it feels when your kid digs his nose in front of your guests and the guests give you that so-you-are-the-mother-of-this-boy look? My little one isn’t a messy one but I’ve had my share of awkward moments as his mother. Here are the top 5 in the list:

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D for Disorientation – How did the cooker weight reach the lego box?

Confused mom

All of us experience continuous flow of thoughts in our heads, don’t we? When this thought process is intermitted by a phone call or a door bell, we might come back to the same line of thoughts or pick up a new one. With either, the continuity of the flow of thoughts is reclaimed. However, when attending to babies or looking after little children, especially those who are talkative, our thought process gets disturbed frequently leading to a miserable discontinuation of the flow. The demand to catch up on more than one activity at the same time, in addition to the suspended thought flow can sometimes make a mom confused (atleast, if ‘disoriented’ sounds exaggerated). Hence, when moms say that they are busy, they actually mean they are multi-tasking. When they say they don’t have time for themselves, they mean that it has been a while since they got lost in thoughts. Here’s a 10-minute example of what happened today morning.

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C for Cheerfulness – It's a lovely sunny morning!

Happy mom with son

The silly laughs we have together while cuddling up during bedtime, the spectrum of expressions I bring into the voices of his book characters, the temptation to grab his ice cream after I’ve finished mine, the negotiations and deals we make for each other, the ‘Wows’ and ‘Good jobs’ for every little achievement he brings to me, the ticklings, the giggles, the hide-and-seeks – motherhood is also about reviving and completing the bygone childhood.

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B for Baby Blues – Beyond Pushes & Stitches

baby blues and post partum depression

At the core of these emotional battles what makes baby blues blue, is the feeling of bereavement. It takes time to accept that the new one everyone else is happy to meet, is the same with whom you had grown a secret bond for forty weeks. It is like developing a relationship with somebody distant and when one day you happen to meet the person, it feels awfully strange. The feeling of being separated from that missing being from my bump must be what I realize now as baby blues which is an untold, unexplainable and unidentifiable emotion of new mothers.

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A for Attachment – That 'something' I wasn't prepared for!

Perhaps, this is the most intense of all the emotions I’ve experienced as a mother – Attachment! Sometimes, when I yearn for a a few hours of off from looking after them and when it does happen, I yearn to be back with them in no time. Sometimes, when I breathe a sigh of relief after they are asleep, having waited for it for several hours, all that I like to do is watch them sleep. There’s an emptiness in their absence – even while they sleep!

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‘The Very Many Emotions of Motherhood’ – #AtoZChallenge 2017 Theme Reveal

AtoZ blogging challenge

Starting from tomorrow, please join me in an emotional odyssey of motherhood, for the next thirty days. Beginning from 1st of April until 30th April, there will be one blog post a day on this blog. And all the posts will revolve around motherhood. We all know that a mother is an embodiment of love, an epitome of sacrifice, a this of that and a that of this! Yes, we’ve seen, read and heard all the nicest things about her. However, seldom do we understand the frustrations behind her patience, the playfulness behind her maturity, the sadness behind her joys and so much more hidden emotions of motherhood. As a mother of two, as a stay-at-home-mom and as an ever-learning, ever-evolving mom, I am looking forward to share my A to Z everyday emotional rides, through my blog, in the next thirty days.

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