F for Farewell – Goodbye Bramacharyam

The date is fixed. The shopping is in spree. The cards are printed. The bells are ringing and your heart is pounding as it all gets so near atlast. Fare the bachelorhood well, you are getting married!

It might feel like a few eons before you could arrive to this point. Nevertheless, you did it! There’s a new excitement now. The script you had in your mind so long is nearly going to be played on the stage soon. The question of ‘when’ has an answer. You touch your names together on the card and they feel to belong to a magical pair. The aunty who kept ragging you for not getting married can be snapped now. You can again become a part of that friends circle who discussed only about married life and kids. Your Facebook status can now go ‘Engaged’. You are allowed to post pics of you together. You are allowed to officially roam around the town. Most of all, now that the D day is nearing, you would want to spend as much time as possible together. Be it silly romances or pre-marital sex, this phase holds a special thrill for illegal things 😉

There’s something I’ve missed to touch on relationships so far. I talk about falling in love, commitment and courtship but ironically mine was an arranged marriage. And I thought I must write about how relationships are made through this satirical Indian system of marriage.

When the groom hunt had began, I was perplexed about how one could possibly choose a person to live the rest of the life with, without even a basic friendship between the two. With guys coming and seeing me, one after the other, I had no hope this would take my life to anywhere. All along I wanted to cherish my spinsterhood for a little while and a little more while and when finally when I was willing to get married, I didn’t know whom to get married to. And it felt terrible.

It could be easy for some, like for H, I was the only girl he had to meet and our wedding date was fixed within a few weeks after that. He didn’t had to go through thinking, confusion or contemplation. It could be that in my case, most of the proposals that came were based abroad, US or the Europe. Telephonic conversations over different time zones perhaps may be couldn’t get me started with long distance relationships. Or may be I just didn’t feel saying a yes.

A relation which doesn’t start with A for attraction or B for butterflies but with C for commitment can be scary. How can a person have a set of criteria and then begin to search for a partner? How can one take a chance in life with something as huge as marriage? I really don’t know!  It’s still a mystery to me how it got clicked with H 😉  With 6 years and 2 children now, I must say there’s some made in heaven factor that makes arranged marriages work for otherwise agreeing to the nuptial bond before getting to be with the person still sounds crazy to me.

Okay, all is well that ends well, let’s get ready – Coming next, The grand Indian wedding!

Other posts in the A to Z series:

The Mr. & The Mrs. – The Evolution

A for Attraction – Why we fall in for Who we fall in?

B for Butterflies – The Stage is all Set!

C for Commitment – Stepping Across the First Line of Control

D for Dating – The Fairy Tale Begins…

E for Expose – Here enters the Family

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